Don't judge me, ass-face

Hey Mr. Judgement. Guess what? When I sent out an email asking if anyone had seen something that was missing from where I last saw it, it was very nice of you to bring it to me. Do you know what made it less nice, and in fact, completely canceled out any smidgen of niceness? Your rude, "It looked like crap, I almost threw it out," comment, accompanied by your grouchy frown and the look on your face that seemed to imply you were passing some kind of judgment on my soul.

Guess what fucking genius? I'm not the one who left it in that state, somebody else did. I was just trying to find it and put it where it belongs. So you can stop with your petulant huffing and puffing.

Go pull the gigantic stick out of your ass. Seriously.

Printer Nazi, take a fucking chill pill

Random printer user, just now: "Hey, just so you know, the printer is warning you it's low on toner."
Me: "Yes, I know. It says less than 1700 pages left, right?"
User: "Yep."
Printer Nazi: (chimes in) "Yes, it's been saying that for a long time. At some point it's actually going to start having trouble printing."

At which point my head exploded.

Printer Nazi, please, please, calm down. We already have replacement toner. When we run out, I will replace it. I'm not replacing it before that because it's a waste. As I said before, if you're so concerned, please feel free to change it yourself at any time.

Holy crap, you're insane. Get something more important to worry about, please.

1700 pages a day is a lot

Please, printer nazi, realize that your 35 pages of printing along with my 10 pages of printing per day does not amount to 1700 pages.

I don't need you to read me the warning on the printer about how there are less than 1700 pages worth of toner left. I don't need you to make ludicrous comments such as, "We go through 1700 pages a day, easy." They will not make me change the cartridge any faster.

I will change it when we actually run out. If you'd like to take care of it sooner, help yourself. Try not to break it. If you do, don't cry to me.

You're not special, HP 2300, all printers hate me

I'm not an idiot. Really. I have been using computers almost my whole life. I've been doing office work on them since 1995. I really do know how to set up documents and select printing preferences.

So why is it that when I am printing labels, and I set the document properties to print from the manual tray on the printer, then I set the printer default to manual tray and then I set the printing option to manual tray, it goes right ahead and prints from the internal tray onto regular paper?

Why? Because printers hate me. Variations of this include printers that group instead of collating despite a preference that is selected otherwise and printers that jam if you actually put paper in the manual tray before printing, but work OK if you wait till it complains that it doesn't have any, then carefully feed it in one sheet at a time.

I think somebody at HP needs to work on their printer drivers.